Living in a little cottage perfectly fit for the three of us. Affordable yet cozy :)
Greeted every morning with snuggles and giggles from two adorable little ones.
Loose fitting size 00 clothes to match very good hair days.
A late evening phone call from an amazingly handsome surgeon (it's nothing really, well, not yet...but still...)
Life has not been what I expected. I was surrounded by lucky beans...
I chose our last home with Dave for its small size, brick driveway, wood kitchen floors, and the lush backyard forest inhabited by squirrels, raccoons, and snakes. Later, to my surprise, it revealed a little secret -- an abundant supply of lucky beans.
I first saw these red and black beans when my sister gave me bean bracelets she brought home from Guatemala (or was it Peru? or Costa Rica?) about four years ago. I knew they were beans but had no idea they were lucky ;) I also had no idea they can be found here in Florida.
The children were instantly drawn by the brightly colored beans. They often gathered some from the forest and used them for play. They were scattered all over our home, in my car and occassionally one would find its way into our shoes.
Montauk Lighthouse, 1999 (little Snow in my tummy)When Dave decided to break up the family back in June, I cursed the lucky beans. I did not bring a single one with me to Pennsylvania and when he took us back home in July, I cleared the house of these beans. I must've left a few in my car or the children must've snuck them into the house because that reconciliation lasted less than two months and now that we are finally separated, I have never felt luckier, happier, freer, safer. I am living once again.
He is in Norway right now visiting his girlfriend (the beans brought him some luck too). Before he left, he asked if I would be kind enough to put away his trashbins. My considerate nature agrees to everything, so I said yes. As I put away the bins, I noticed how the plants on the front yard have grown so I walked around the back to take a quick look at the other plants. Then I sat on one of the stone stools I put together for the children, mind empty, I stared into the forest.
Soon enough, the little specks of red on the ground caught my eye and I broke out in tears. Tears of relief and of joy, and of how lucky I am to love and be loved by so many people and to have the strength to re-invent myself and rebuild my life through a very painful and difficult experience. I slowly made my way into the forest, picking up one little bean at a time. I was drawn not by their bright colors but by the fantasy aspect of fate and fortune, of being alone in a forest collecting magical beans, and of entering my forties with a childlike soul.
I emerged out of the woods an hour later with dirt under my fingernails, twig-scratched arms, bug-bitten legs, and a pocketful of beans. :)
There's a lot of luck to go around. If you would like some just email me. But beware!
Travel Africa says the beans contain poison that can paralyze or cause respiratory failure and
this wikipedia link talks about death by a finger-prick! I did not know this until today. Thank goodness the children never attempted to crack or bite one open!
My search for lucky beans also led me to
this wonderful blog. I have yet to post some Halloween pics, I"ll try to get that done before Thanksgiving. ^,^
